July 18, 2015
We are “waiting it out,” as the doctor said.
With only a couple weeks to go as senior staff at our region’s summer training program, my husband had a severe attack of dizziness and nausea.
It was Friday morning, and we were on our way home for a quick weekend to see the grandkiddos and make preparations for a houseful of guests coming Monday. Our plan was to make the 3 hour return trip Sunday morning.
But by Monday morning, my hubby still could not keep food down and was so dizzy he could hardly walk. It was apparent our return would have to wait.
And so, we waited for the doctor’s appointment. We waited for a CT scan. We waited for a diagnosis. We waited for the medicine to take effect. We waited for the chiropractor’s appointment. We waited for the nausea to go away, strength to return, the dizziness to stop.
The doctor saw him. The CT scan showed a healthy brain (!) The diagnosis is vertigo. The medicine helped. The chiropractor helped. The nausea has gone away. Strength has returned. The dizziness has lessened significantly.
“My soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 62:5 has both encouraged me and frustrated me, as I’ve talked to my own soul about waiting only upon God. I don’t like to wait. I’ve had long seasons of waiting that do not bring back pleasant memories. Mostly I wait impatiently, with irritation at God and those around me. I like normal. I like the known. I like comfort. I don’t like seeing my strong husband suffer. I don’t like not being able to fix it.
However, I know from past experience and from God’s Word, that waiting is good for the soul. Jeremiah wrote in Lamentations, chapter 3, “The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeks him.”
Waiting reminds me it’s not all about me… I don’t have to have what I want when I want it. Waiting for health to return is hard. In the midst of that waiting, I am struggling to seek the Lord more than health, more than normal, more than the known, more than comfort. I want to know that particular kind of goodness of the Lord that apparently can only come through times of waiting.